Ansari came under public scrutiny recently via the publishing of the account of a New York City woman’s experience on a date with Ansari. The woman, who’s only identified by the pseudonym “Grace,” was 22 at the time. The alleged incident occurred on 25 September 2017.
“Kiss and tell” is nothing new. Reputations have been both destroyed and redeemed in the fallout of the telling. But having that “news” zoom around the world in a red-hot second for consumption by a billion people is.
“I believe that I was taken advantage of by Aziz. I was not listened to and ignored. It was by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.”
Writer Katie Way posted Grace’s account of the fateful evening on a website called “babe.” To date, I’ve only read two pieces of journalism related to this accusation: the account itself and Bari Weiss’s opinion piece about it in The New York Times.
Aziz Ansari has not been accused of a crime. It seems that he’s just being accused of being a creep. For me, there’s an aura of strangeness about this story that begs for analysis. What the heck is going on here?
The chart for the event itself is fuzzy. I might look at a 9:00 PM chart for the night of their date, but that would be highly speculative at best. (UPDATE 2/1/2018: Astrologer Elisabeth Grace does take a look at a speculative chart for the night of their date.)
However, my astrological interests center quite strongly on people and human nature as viewed through the lens of astrology. And we can definitely look at one of the participants’ natures through this lens.
So who is Aziz Ansari, astrologically speaking? Looking at his birth chart actually provides some valuable information about him that can be applied to this incident.
Ansari’s Natal Chart
It would be impossible for any astrologer to do an exhaustive reading on a natal chart without a confirmed birth time (and we do not have that for Ansari).
I’ve looked at many celebrity charts for which we have confirmed birth times, and I’ve far more often found Pluto elevated in their birth charts, for example, than I have found an elevated Sun. So I used an 8:00 AM birth time rather than the 12 noon time often used by astrologers for famous people. But even without knowing Ansari’s birth time, there are some elements about his chart that remain the same, no matter what time he was born that day. Those, we can look at and piece together at least a part of this puzzle.
There’s another chart out there for Ansari that’s well worth looking at, and it’s from astro-charts.com. I love their charts because they contain visual information about major aspect patterns. You easily learn from their chart for Ansari that it contains a grand trine, a kite, a T-square, and a yod. Yods are also known as “the finger of God.”
While there’s a lot of strong and well-defined energy in Ansari’s natal chart, Venus at 0 Aries is of critical importance here. It’s on what’s called the Aries Point.
“Events involving the Aries Point, or people with it prominent in their charts, have impact. Their lives can affect many people. They have a connection to the public and the public has a connection to them. This is the degree of the zodiac bearing the message, ‘The personal is political.'” (PlanetWaves)
And that is why this story is splashed all over the internets right now.
Venus: Your Sexual Style
Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I wrote a “love post” a few days ago about Venus. This was before I became aware of the Ansari/Grace story. Here’s what I said about Venus in Aries:
LITTLE RED CORVETTE. “Baby, you’re much too fast.” But they like it like that. Tell them you want to burn down the night with them. They spend a lot of time at the gym, and they want a lot of sex. They don’t speak in riddles, and neither should you. This is the “go hard or go home” Venus of the zodiac. They may propose on the third date, but you should play hard to get–they love the chase.
The essential nature of Mars is assertive. Ansari’s Venus is already in Mars-ruled Aries. Venus is playing here on Mars’s playground, indicating that Ansari’s natural sexual style is turned up to 11. To have Mars conjunct Venus turns it up to, like, 15. I would have said 20, but Mars’s assertiveness is somewhat dampened in gentle, watery Pisces. Nevertheless, Mars owns the playground, and he wants to play too!
While Venus in Aries can come on strong, she isn’t typically a manipulator. Neither is Mars. I would look at Scorpio first if I had questions about hidden agendas or manipulations. Ansari’s chart shows Saturn in Scorpio. This indicates, among other things, playing by the rules (Saturn) where sex (Scorpio) is concerned. And certainly there is a whole set of social rules, both written and unwritten, around dating and sex.
When you play on Aries’s playground, especially when the owner shows up, you play by Mars’s rules. So Venus’s disposition/inclination here is to assert its desire in a clear and forward manner. The repeated “mumbling” and “nonverbal cues” that Grace described herself as providing are a complete mismatch for the frank and straightforward style of Ansari’s Venus in Aries.
Ansari’s watery Mars also makes an exact square to also-watery Neptune. Marina Macario at Darkstar Astrology notes about this aspect that “Chasing the unattainable lover is another manifestation, as Mars loves the chase while Neptune tends towards unrequited and courtly love.” Ansari was quite literally that night chasing a lover who, as it turned out, was unattainable.
With Ansari’s Venus in Aries conjunct Mars, I can see where he might have interpreted Grace’s “nonverbal cues” as “playing hard to get” and that Ansari simply played along with what he saw through his Venus/Mars/Aries lens. But that doesn’t make him an opportunist or a manipulator by default. Venus in Aries is quite the opposite. Some people really like a bold and straightforward sexual style, while others don’t. There are many shades and flavors of sexual expression.
Mars conjoined with Venus in Aries can also be compared to driving on the Autobahn. It’s fast and it’s a little dangerous, even when you do follow the rules of the road.
In Grace’s account of that evening, I do see that she had many opportunities to take an exit ramp off of Ansari’s Autobahn. She had a voice in this situation, and she had agency.
But Grace went home with Ansari after their dinner date. That’s a “nonverbal cue” that indicates consent to sexual activity. It’s one of those unwritten social rules, and I believe that Grace knows this too. If Grace is going to build a defense of her actions on “nonverbal cues,” well, this is the nonverbal cue that I think is the crux of the matter. The sexual happenings that transpired that night were all made possible due to this one nonverbal cue.
A wise and funny friend of mine remarked about the situation, “… I see it as a guy who watches too much porn to be a decent lover and a girl who was held hostage by her manners.”
Obviously, I have no idea whether Ansari watches porn or not. But my friend’s observation helped me to put into my own words something I was trying to grasp about Grace’s account of her evening with Ansari: Is it that her consent was violated, or that her sensibilities were offended?
During the earlier part of Ansari and Grace’s encounter at his place, Grace did not say that she didn’t want to have sex. What she initially said was that she didn’t want to “feel forced.” This, to me, points to the style of sex that was happening rather than whether the sex was going to happen or not at all. That the sex was going to happen was established, again, by Grace’s nonverbal cue (going home with Ansari after the dinner.) It appears to me that Grace chose not to take an exit ramp until late in the game because she was still trying to figure out what she wanted from Ansari. Well, there seems to be a bit of opportunism there, at best, on Grace’s part too. Just sayin’. Starfucking is a thing.
It’s wise to remember that the person you see on TV or online isn’t necessarily the person that exists in real life or in private.
Now, this doesn’t mean that Ansari doesn’t have some karmic work to do around how he expresses himself sexually. (Who among us doesn’t?) His Cancer North Node at the nadir of his chart (opposing, of course, his South Node in Capricorn near the chart’s midheaven) points to the need for him to show more sensitivity in private situations. The yod in his chart involving Mercury in Aquarius, Jupiter in Sagittarius, and Moon in Cancer supports this idea too.
And he’s certainly got that available to him. A guy with a watery Cancer Moon in the 4th house actually is deeply sensitive. His Mars is also swimming in Pisces’s boundless waters. His Cancer North Node squares Venus in Aries. Yet Aries and Cancer are both cardinal (initiative) signs. To me this says that the level of vulnerability that accompanies his Cancerian sensitivity may not be entirely comfortable for him. But he has no choice but to keep swimming.
(Movie still of Aziz Ansari from Get Him to the Greek, Universal Pictures. Retrieved via hotflicks.net)
I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that with a correct birth time, his Cancer North Node might fall into the 3rd house. The 3rd is the house of the Mind, and it rules communication, perceptions, and “the neighborhood” (as opposed to “the world”). Ansari’s North Node also has the “easy” energy of a trine flowing to it from his Saturn in Scorpio which requires him to dig deeply and with integrity into sexual matters. I think that this incident with Grace will prompt him to do that, if he is wise.
Ansari will always need to give special consideration to his more private and local interactions and be sure that he is showing his intimate partners his more sensitive side, because Venus/Mars on the Ascendant with Venus on the Aries Point makes him vulnerable to being seen by the whole world as a sexual opportunist or manipulator, whatever else the truth may be.
But, again, I’m going to emphasize that Grace’s account of her situation doesn’t look to me like an issue of coercion. I feel that she would have been quite satisfied to have sex with Ansari that evening if he had approached her sexually in a style that was appealing to her. (And I’ve got no problem with that, lest I be accused of slut-shaming.) She did, after all, go to his house. He was, after all, asking her questions and trying to find out what she wanted sexually. In my view, it’s not fair to blame him for her inability or unwillingness to answer those questions. Based on the vagueness of Grace’s repeated “nonverbal cues,” I wouldn’t be suprised to find a strong Neptunian or Piscean component to Grace’s natal chart.
You know, we women have all had our hammers out lately, it seems. And some of the males we’ve hammered have deserved all that and more. But just because we’re holding hammers doesn’t mean that everything is a nail. Aziz Ansari’s astrology, in particular, demonstrates to me that it’s just not that simple.
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